Kazina (kazina) wrote,
Kazina
kazina

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The last day of summer...

Well, it's 4am, I've just woken up, lovely.... I could go back to sleep, since it's always such a great way to waste time, but I'm feeling strangely productive. I think I might actually read some useful book... Ooh, coffee!
These are my last few hours of official freedom. I still have no idea whatsoever what I'm supposed to do tomorrow, what kind of weird ceremony it is... Oh well, at least I think that being utterly confused is a good sign. It means I have absolutely no idea of what I'm supposed to do at uni, and doing that once will hopefully take the confusion away next year.

Me and my parents went to a fleamarket together on Sunday. I bought myself lots and lots of nice belts (they're way too big, but making them smaller will hopefully motivate me to lose weight), and the most gorgeous fabric (very lovely black velour with a beautiful sparkly blue pattern on it). Some lady gave me some weird black powder for the eyes that she bought in India? On the package it says it's to relieve tired, smoky, dusty, etc. eyes. It doesn't, however, say how to use it. I'm guessing you either apply it around the eyes or drop a bit inside? Whatever it is, it looks interesting. And my mother randomly found a pair of bright bright pink pumps in the attic that my dad (who is mildly colourblind and can't tell the difference between red and green, etc.) once bought for her and she never wore (since they were such a scary colour). Rar, can't believe she didn't realize I'd like them. You'd think the bright pink hair bits that I've had for well over a year now would have been a nice clue. Nevermind, yay, they look so great! Wheee, bright pink pumps! *dances around happily* She also gave me these really elegant black/gold evening shoes, that she never wears anyway. How sweet of her.... *dances around even more happily*

Wow, it's Autumn already. This means it's over 3 months since I came back from London and decided to stay here. Marvellous, and only a little over 11 months left! :-D Still, I can't help thinking that time isn't just a material thing, like money, gifts or sex that you can just hand out whenever you want something. I wonder whether I'll regret wasting a year here. I mean, I already vaguely regret not taking that crappy supermarket job 7 months ago, it's pretty much inevitable that you'll regret everything you do as time passes. 18 always seemed *so* far away, and now it's right around the corner, that just feels so bizarre. I almost wish I could just stop time so I could enjoy every moment of this joyous existence. I just wish I was allowed to do absolutely nothing, sit and watch tv all day for 11 months, watch the hours pass, counting up to a certain goal, and not regret it. Ooh, and now that the sunshine's gone, I definitely know it'll be harder for me to stay happy if I choose to actually live my life. Maybe the only thing I need are lamps that shine like daylight. Obviously listening to the most appropriate (although *slightly* late) song... Eekie, depressing. *shivering*
And to add to the deeply gloomy mood, I broke a nail. Like, seriously, most of the tip fell off. Meh, meh, and meh once more. I should really strengthen them more...
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